Ways to annoy Snape!
by Jade Snape-Holloway
Summary: Want to annoy Snape? Read this fic and do what it says! Ans PLEASE review!
1. Chapter 1

WAYS TO ANNOY SEVERUS SNAPE!

SUMMERY! Ever wonder what makes our favorite Death Eater tic (besides every little minor thing that happens) ? Well, just read this list and use the ideas! Since 'Ways to annoy Jack Sparrow was so liked, I've decided to do more! And I'd just like to say that I LOVE Snape. I annoy out of love, so I hope no body thinks I don't like him, cuz I do!

1: Read him any random romance fic with him in it.  
2: Say 'so your not interested in women at all? Just dark arts?'  
3: Ask him if him and Wormtail have something going on, or if they're just 'room mates.'  
4: Get him on the Dr. Phil show.  
5: By him 'Hair Washing For Dummies.'  
6: Buy him a stress ball.  
7: Do anything, it will annoy him that your still alive.  
8: Tell him there's been a mistake and James is really alive.  
9: Wake him up in the middle of the night.  
10: When he asks why, say 'I just feel like we don't talk any more.'  
11: When ever you two are around people, say something like 'yeah, Sev is totally NOT a Death Eater.' Then wink at him and whisper loudly 'they have no idea!'  
12: Loudly sing 'Blvd. of broken dreams.'  
13: When he try's to make you stop, say 'But it's your new theme song!'  
14: Whenever he's plotting something nasty, sing ' Power to the peaceful,' super loud.  
15: 'Accidentally' replace all his clothes with white robes.  
16: Nag him about wearing white after labor day.  
17: Laugh at every thing he says no matter how un-funny it is.  
18: Replace all his potion books with self help books.  
19: Tell him you've learned Occlomency.  
20: When he asks you to guess what he's thinking, just grin, shake your head, and say 'I can't say that, it's to dirty!'  
21: Say that in front of lots of people.  
22: If he try's to kill you just stare at him like this: 0.0  
23: When he demands to know what your starring at, say, 'your just so pretty.'

END NOTES: Hope you all liked that! If I get any reviews I'll continue it. If any body is intrested in more ways to annoy Snape, go to Then go to 'fun lists.' It's so funny! Please review!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2: Ways to annoy Sirius Black!

WAYS TO ANNOY SIRIUS!!!

SUMMERY: O.K, here it is! The long- in- the-making chapter 2! Today we are annoying our favorite dead guy, Sirius Black! He's not my fav dead guy...BOONE, WE STILL LOVE YOU:,(

1: Make non-stop jokes about his name, like "Oh, you can't be serious! Oh wait, you are! HAHAHAHAH!"  
2: Tell him that Snape is really Harry's father (this will work on Snape, too).  
3: Talk about what an adorable couple Severus and Lily make.  
4: Talk about what an adorable couple Severus and Sirius make.  
5: Refer to him as Snuffles no matter what.  
6: Bring him back from the dead just to taunt him about being 'killed by a curtain."  
7: Say 'HA HA! You got killed by a girl! HAHAHAHA!'  
8: When Krecher and Sirius are standing right next to each other, come up to Kretcher and say 'Hi Sirius! How ya doin'?'  
9: Wake up Mrs. Black's portrait in the middle of the night.  
10: If he should get mad at you and start yelling at you, call him 'Mr.Grumples.'  
11: Force him to watch Potter Puppet Pals (that is sooooo funny, but it would annoy the hell out of him!).  
12: Tell Rita Skeeter where he is and set up an interview.  
13: Make him listen to you sing karaoke.  
14: Make him sing karaoke.  
15: Say "so Snuffles, there's an alarming amount of Sirius/Snape fiics out there. It's not ture is it?"  
16: If he says no it isn't true, wink and say "uh huh, gotcha."   
17: Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.  
18: Refer to him and the marauders as 'play mates.'  
19: If for some reason you two go some where in public together, and he is in dog form, say things like "Come on doggy who is totally NOT Sirius Black in disguise!" Then wink and say "they have no idea!"  
20: If he try's to kill you, stare at him like this 0.o  
21: If he demands to know what your starring at, whisper dramatically " I see dead people."

END NOTES: He he! Annoying people is so much fun! Thank to everyone who reviewed! Please review this chapter and if you do, tell me who to annoy next! D


	3. Chapter 3: Ways to annoy Dumbledore!

WAYS TO ANNOY DUMBLEDORE!

SUMMERY: I'm so sorry, Dumbledore! You are my other favorite dead guy! And to my reviewers, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

1: Call him Dumbles.

2: Or, every time you say something to him, use his full name (if you have time. It's a very long name).

3: Say "So Dumbles, your the only person the world's most evil man fears...doesn't that seem like a problem for you?"

4: Call him Gandlof, or how ever you spell it.

5: Say, "If your so powerful, why can't you rid the world of Mary Sues?"

6: Mock his choice of Defense against the dark arts teachers.

7: Read him Dumledore X any guy fics.

8: Carve 'I Told You He Was Evil' on his grave stone (only don't really do that).

9: Cut off his bread and weave a blanket with it.

10: Refer to Fawkes as a chicken.

11: Ask him to say hi to Srius for you.

12: Introduce him to all the Mary Sues out there who are supposed to be his daughter or grand daughter.

13: Dye his hair pink.

14: When he gets made, say 'I was just trying to make you look younger.'

15: Insist that you know there's something going on between him and Mconagal.

16: Point out that he doesn't excist and never will.

17: Give Rita Skeeter his address.

18: Sing the peaches song non-stop, but only the 'millions of peaches, peaches for free' over and over.

19: Give him Botox.

20: Steal his socks (what is it with charaters' obessitions with socks in this book?!?!).

END NOTES: OK, sorry that was so short...and unfunny, but there just arn't any other ways to annoy that man! Please review!


	4. Chapter 4: Ways to annoy Mconagal!

WAYS TO ANNOY MCONAGAL!

A/N: Thank you, reviewers! Here's Mconagal for you!

1: Read her Dumbledore/ Mconagal fics.  
2: Set her up on a blind date.  
3: ...With Snape.  
4: When she gets made at you, just dangle a piece of yarn around (ya know, cuz she turns into a cat).  
5: Ask if she ever gets high off catnip.  
6: Ask her if there's something going on with her and Crookshanks (and what the hell kinda name is THAT? Does Hermione hate that cat?).  
7: Say things like 'catty' as much as you can.  
8: Tell her that Umbridge said she's her best friend.  
9: Kill Harry so the Slytherins will always win (only don't really).  
10: Tell her she needs to relax and 'let her hair down.'  
11: Ask 'does your hair even come out of the bun, or has it been like that for so long that it's stuck?'  
12: Tell her that Dumbledore's last request was for her to marry Snape.  
13: If she does it, tell her 'Thank you. I'm sure somewhere Dumbledore is looking down on you and laughing his bread off.'  
14: Every time you need her for something, say 'here kitty, kitty...'  
15: Get obsessed with something like cheese.  
16: If she should try to transfigure you into something, shake your head and say 'the cheese is disappointed.'  
17: Tell everyone that she just seems strict. She's really a party animal.  
18: Come to class looking like hell and say stuff like 'God, you were right. Catnip brownies totally rock.'  
19: Die her hair some insane color and insist that you were just trying to help her look younger.  
20: In public, come up to her and insist you know something is going on with her and Dumbledore.

END NOTES: So, there you have it! I wish I could do these things! Anyway, if you liked it, review me. If you didn't like it, I don't care.


	5. Chapter 5: Ways to Annoy Random People!

WAYS TO ANNOY RANDOM HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS!

A/N: Well, sorry this chapter took so long to post. I've been trying to think of ways to annoy individual characters, but it's harder then it looks, so I'll just do a bunch of different stuff. Thank you guys for all your reviews!

1: When ever your around Harry, sing "save a broom, ride a quiditch player."  
2: Pronounce Flich's name 'Filth,' no matter how many times you've been corrected.  
3: Give Peeves a paint gun.  
4: Stand over Filch while he's cleaning and say "you missed a spot."  
5: Call Filch 'Mr. Norris.'  
6: Call Voldemort stuff like 'Voldewort,' Voldypoo,' and so on.  
7: Make them all watch 'Potter Puppet Pals.'  
8: Go through all the similarities between Harry Potter and any given fandom.  
9: Call Voldemort 'Tommy Boy.'  
10: Sing 'Ware-wolves in London' at the top of your lungs every time your around Lupin.  
11: Also when your near him, say things like 'hungry as a wolf.'  
12: Call Voldemort 'He-who-should-not-be-smelled.'  
13: Every time Voldemort gets an evil idea, say "you go,girl!"  
14: Read Fred and George Fred and George fics.  
15: Go through all the worst ships on the fan fic planet.  
16: Tell Ron that Hermione's leaving him for harry cuz Harry is just so much cooler then Ron. Say "maybe if you ahd a cool scar things would be different."  
17: Tell Neville that there was a mistake and he has to fulfil the prophecy.  
18: Sing 'We Are The Champions'

20: Free all the house elves from having to wrok at Hogwarts. When everyone is upset, explane that you need them for your band.

END NOTES: O.K, last chapter. Please review it!


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